The questions are:
1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

* Question # 1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is:
"I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
a. Baseball.
b. Football.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking I would be talking to you!")

* Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order
"Yes, dear."
Inappropriate responses include:
A. I suppose so.
B. Would it make you feel better if I said yes? C. That depends on what you mean by love.
D. Does it matter?
E. Who, me?

* Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:
A. Compared to what?
B. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin. C. A little extra weight looks good on you.
D. I've seen fatter.
E. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

* Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic
"Of course not!"
Incorrect responses include:
a. Yes, but you have a better personality b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age d. Define pretty
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

* Question# 5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Corvette.") No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:
WOMAN: Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!
WOMAN: Why not-don't you like being married? MAN: Of course I do.
WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry? MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.
WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face) MAN: Yes, I would.
WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed? MAN: Where else would we sleep?
WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do. WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs? MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed. --- \\\BIG OOPS///